Lately I had a talk with my mother and for the 1st time in my life I seen her for her me and my mother don't have the perfect relationship in the world I use to think she was jealous of me I could never understand how any mother could be jealous of her child but speaking to my mother I understood her reasoning and I truly wasn't prepared to hear what She was about to tell me I have so much respect for my mother because she is the true definition of a strong mother.
When my mother was a young girl she was sexually abused as a child as well but when she told my grandmother she didn't believe her I remember when I told my mother that I was being sexually abused she almost killed my cousin the look in her eyes I will never for get and I was just 6years old and can still tell you she was out for blood if it wasn't for our neighbors she would have killed my cousin that's how a mother is suppose to react to her child not saying you are telling a story my mother was 8years old and told my grandmother it made me look at my grandmother and say how could you not believe your child I was honestly upset at my grandmother I truly believe my mother over my grandmother she knew she likes to hide the truth i remember one night my family was having a talk saying how strong i was and my grandmother says to me I didn't know this was happening to you nia like really I'm 6 years old and hes 14 what do I no about sex nothing and you knew because my fathers side grandfather, grandmother, aunt uncle's and friends of the family even my dead beat father knew how could you not no that was a lie I remember I use to beg my grandmother and mother not to leave me home alone with my cousin my grandmother is the type of person who can't handle the truth the type of woman who let's everyone believe everything is perfect and their is no wrong doing in her household she hides and run from the truth.
So I understand my mother reasoning for having anger towards my grandmother but as my mother kept speaking she said she met my father when she was 16 and had me at 17 when I was 1 years old my father was in a very bad car accident which doctors didn't know if he would live or die that she pregnant hiding it from everyone because this wasn't the time or the place to speak of the good news so my mother kept my brother or sister a secret not knowing if my father would ever wake up my mother made a choice to get abortion she did what she thought was best at the time and I truly understand my mother had no other choice here she is 18 with one child and the man she loves is fighting for his life my dead beat father woke up bye then it was already to late my mother had already with threw with the abortion already feeling emotionally drained here is this man scream and yelling at her not know what she has went threw so she left my father on his bed side never telling him I was shocked when she told me this a little upset with her how could you kill my brother or sister but remembering what she said that she would have done the same with me if I wasn't far along then I went back to my way of thinking like damn mom you never wanted children you never wanted me I was a mistake that hurts to feel that way even tho she says I'm the greatest gift that god has given her that just hurt me.
My mother kept talking she told me that her and my dead beat father didn't work out I was 3 when they officially broke up bye then my mother was working and back in school I thought I heard it all from my mother to hear she was abused as a child my grandmother not believing her having me at such a young age but to a man who only talked down of her taking her Childs life AND now she's a single mother with no help from that man who she once loved I felt bad for my mother like damn mom life couldn't have been any worst for you but it gets worst my mother told me she was raped again as an adult but not only her my aunt as well bye the same man who walked around free woman afraid to report him always laughing and saying who's going to believe you my heart was crushed all I wanted to do was hold my mother but she kept talking saying how she was pregnant bye her rapist and running into her attacker talking to my dead beat father saying I beeped yo baby momma and my dead beat father calling my mother a hoe and out of her name trying to take me from her not knowing what this man has done to her and 5 other girls I wanted to kill the man who did this to mother and also my dead beat father hoe dare you say ish to my momma but I had to remember my mother never said a word feeling as if no one would believe her yet again and here she is caring a child bye s man who attacked her so her my aunt and cousins all went to the clinic another child my mother has given back so she worked even harder.
She meet my brothers father and he loved her and pushed her to always do and be her best I respected mike he even stepped up and took on the role of being my father but I was a very small child only 4 and half but remember everything about my mother and his love but that would be the love my mother lost but not only her but also my brother they both lost him to a lifetime in prison I felt so awful for my mother because she has been put threw he'll and nothing seemed to be right for her always losing some she loved I just couldn't believe all the pain my mother has been threw now I have a clear understanding why she was the person she was why she was always hard on me my mother put love on hold to raise and give me and my brother everything never allowing any one to ever hurt us or want for anything and for that I will always respect my mother like i said she is the true definition of a strong woman threw out all the hell she has been put threw she still able to smile and laugh Now that me and my brother are grown we both are striving to succeed and make all our dreams to come true because our mother deserves the very best I use to think she was evil and didn't have a heart until she opened up about her life and I thank god she did because Im proud of her getting it off her. Chest but not only that but im proud to call her my mother and I thank god for choosing her to be my mother I wouldn't have it any other way .
Mom I love you with all my heart I truly believe from the button of my heart god has seen every tear heard every prayer that you have ever spoken to him I truly believe that he will bless you with everything that your heart desires thank you for being my mother and I am happy that we can grow closer in our relationship you are my mother and best friend my sister my everything I'm sorry for all The pain I've caused you. I love you more than anything in this world thank you for opening up to me now i have a true understanding of who you are and proud of the woman you have become.
M.T.T.P--- It's never to late to fix things between you and your parents fvor give them but we too don't know what type of pain the had to indoor make things right with your mother or father you never want to wait until its to late
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