Sometimes when people say you seem like the type of girl who had everything handed to her you don't know what it's like to struggle but little do people know I grew up with not having the best of things and I just stop and look and say you have know idea what I have been threw I've been abused as a child by people who supposedly loved me I know what it's like to struggle I grew up with not having the best of things
there was times when I didn't have running water at my home so I would have to take showers at my friends house or at school early in the morning so know one would see me I know what it's like to come home and not have food in the fridge or sometimes not even having lights walking into a dark house Lighting candles just to have lights walking to the store buying water and carrying big old water jugs so me And my brother can take a bath trying to make something out of nothing so me and my brother can eat so trust me I know what it's like to struggle but yet again that's people judging me not knowing and assuming I've watched my mother work two jobs just to take care of me and my brother she never had any help from anyone she did the best she could do for us And I thank her we never complained about not having we was just always grateful that we did have clothes on our backs and a place to call home.
Im a very humble young lady I'm thankful for what I do have I know what's it's like walking and taking the train and bus everywhere. not having a car or having money and not spending it on yourself. I'm always doing for others and paying my bills off that there's never anything left over for me so trust me I know what it's like wearing the same shoes and clothes over and over again ive done it my whole life and still doing it. I'm not going to act like A lv bag or red bottoms make me because they dont martial things don't matter to me instead of a shoe I rather buy myself a house so I have a place to call home I want to buy real things that matter most to me. Spending my money on paying my bills off and hopefully saving up enough money to take trips for me and my family so I can show them the most beautiful places in the world. I don't open myself up to people due to being judged I'm afraid of what people may say about me that's why I bottle up my feelings and expressing myself Im afraid of allowing someone to get to know the real me. I can write it all down and people can read it but me facing someone and telling them is different its hard to look someone in the eyes and telling them this is me without crying I feel like when people open up about who they are and the things they have been threw then People Assume that person wants something and that's not the case sometimes we just wAnt people to know who we truly are and help them to have a clear understanding of why we are the way that we are, but I have never given a person a chance to get to know me because I'm afraid of how they may act and what they may think of me so I keep my problems and everything That I am going threw to myself so I smile and laugh always helping some one else out I feel the less people know about me the less I have the chance of getting judged and hurt and maybe that's unfair but hey that's just me. Trust me I care about everyone that comes into my life even those who leave it I just show people the side of me they always want to see not even to my family i have to be strong...im trying to let my guard down and open up and trust people with my past and present it's truly hard for me to trust because I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me or thinking I want anything from them because I don't i just want people to understand i know what it's like to struggle And be without I face everything on my own this is my life the problems I face are mine no one else's I stand on my own everything I do in my life is on my own never a helping hand from anyone as much as I would love to open up and ask for help I won't my ego and pride won't let me. Some of you reading this is saying nia you cant be like that its unfair but in my eyes it's not ive been taken care of myself since I was a young girl all I know how to do is depend on myself I don't ask people for help I don't express emotion because I've always had to be tuff and strong for my brothers I would love to trust and allow people in but I don't know how I'm not a bad person I'm just afraid that's all it's nothing personal we all go threw things and in due time I'll let you in.
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