Everything I question

I am over being kind I know people say never hold what someone else has done to you over others but explain to me when everyone who has walked into your life has done nothing but hurt you how do you not treat everyone the same I have been battling giving my heart going above and beyond but yet I still have the same outcome every time

Is there something wrong with me where I find it ok to be mistreated to be talk to like crap buying and giving and taking care of others I'm so confused and lost in my own thoughts I pray to god he hears my prayers he answers them i know I complain so much and people get sick of it and I'm sure god does to but how do I make things change into self power self worth self love

I feel as if I have all 3 but my heart is so huge I hate saying no I hate not giving I hate not caring I love putting others people needs before my own I feel I'll be more blessed by doing so I never want anything from anyone but a thank you and a smile but am I doing to much for others and nothing enough for myself i know half of the things i do people will never return the favor or do the things I do for them as they will do for me but I don't care that's not why I give wanting something in return that's not why I go above and beyond Wanting them 2 return the favor

I question myself am I a good person in my heart i feel that i am but why do so many bad things happen to me whAts my real purpose in life all this writing is showing me how much I need To get on my knees and pray to god I should never question my worth or my purpose on this earth